Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
