it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
