Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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