Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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