alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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