I just made out with a guy for $7.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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