i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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