I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
