I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
