Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Someone signed my nipple.
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