I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
