There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
