she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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