Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize