If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
