i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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