I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
