are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
