My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
