They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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