Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
her vagine was all disorganized.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
