: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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