i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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