So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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