I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
