North Korea, Best Korea!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
