Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
