I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
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It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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