Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
