Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
