i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
3pm strippers are depressing
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
