Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
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Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
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At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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