You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize