If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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