I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
