What a fucking waste of an outfit
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You need a sexual gate keeper
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
