there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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