Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
