You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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