Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
