'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I need water and some morals
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
