The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
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I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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