Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
