Is it because I queefed?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize