did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize