i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
