Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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