You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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