Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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