I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
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i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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