Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
