yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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