i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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