i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
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he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.