Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.