idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
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will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too