your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities