she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!