He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
