I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.