he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to