Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
