I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
