Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
