i think my mom watched the whole time
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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