I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
