I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
