just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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