It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
