on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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