they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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