I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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