You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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