No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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