i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
